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Chemically Injured Specific Humor

 

                             

 CLARINS and NORDSTROM'S newest advertisement for the POISONS they INFLICT on the WORLD?
Remind you of anyone?

Hey Nordstrom's & Clarins...we found a way to avoid your INTENTIONAL ATTEMPT TO POISON US!

 

 
MCS bride
 
 
Why do they laugh about people wearing a mask?!
 
 
 
 Chemically Sensitive Vamp in her safe aluminum foil room
 
 
 
 
MCS Award
 
 
 
 Need a job? MCS Bodyguard
 
 
 
Do you need help to fight Clarins? ! In this case it's for free...
 
 
 
Always watch for strange spies...
 
 
 
 
do not try to harm us- Clarins
 
 
Party Masks
 
 
 
 
 Black Tie Formal  Mask
 
Listen to me...I am telling you that Round-up is
benign!

Yes, this is how a pesticide toxicologist detoxifies!

You might be EI if:

1. You have ever asked someone if you can come to their house and smell their mattress.

2. You have talked to a stranger about enemas.

3. You have washed the same load of laundry 8 times.

4. You have aired out toilet paper for 3 months.

5. You have been set up for a blind date and asked how do they smell.

6. You have foiled your mail.

7. You carry your money in an Altoid's tin.

8. It's not a costume party, but you still insist on wearing a "mask".

9. Your favorite clothes are so worn and tattered that they could rival revealing items from Fredricks of Hollywood.

10. You've changed all your friends.

11. NOBODY can borrow your car!!

12. You are more afraid of an emergency room visit than any perceived emergency.

13. Your neighbors wonder why your trash bags are hanging on the line, instead of in the trash can.

14. You can't find anything because you stash everything somewhere because it smelled.

15. You check your garage not for your car, but to see how your new clothes are airing out.

16. You smell the mail before opening and reading it.

17. You check the wind sock not to see which way the wind is coming from, but which way the "stink" is coming from.

18. You are considering moving to the North Pole as you heard that due to cold weather nothing can outgas or smell there.

19. You buy a specially-made, all organic cotton futon and it takes almost 20 years to air it out enough for you to sleep on it.

20. You routinely give away half the supplements, food, and clothing you purchase for yourself because you realize they will never be tolerable.

21. Several months or years later you buy the same items again in the hopes that either you have improved or they have—and then give them all away when it's clear nothing has changed.

22. Your friends and relatives ask you not to order any more organic brown rice or beans for a while because they can't keep up with what you've already given them.

23. When your toilet paper is finally ready to use after being aired out for 3 months, you put it in a wide-mouth, gallon-size glass jar with lid instead of on the usual roller.

24. You have a special, "dedicated" lawn chair, carefully aired out and marked with red ribbon, that visitors are not allowed to sit in.

25. Your best friend's smell strongly of BO and not at all of deodorant...and this is a good thing.

26. You ask visitors to take a mile lap to air out after getting out of their car.

27. You make your 130 lb daughter and 180 lb son wear the same green sweat suit, that was made to fit your 280 lb son-in-law .. after it has been washed 8 times and is wider than it is long.

 

From Planet Thrive Author/authoress unknown

 

 

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE E. I. WHEN: 
 
You are physically knocked off your feet by a pretty girl wearing perfume. 
 
Stop and go traffic stops you completely. 
 
You realize that you cannot use any of the products being advertised on TV. 
 
The time it takes to recover from an outing is always much longer than the 
outing. 
 
You look forward to a meal that consists entirely of lima beans. 
 
You cannot convince people that your hay fever with red eyes and sneezing 
is only a minor inconvenience compare to your other reactions. 
 
You rarely see your old friends, but when you do, there isn't anything to 
talk about. 
 
When you are wearing a charcoal or an oxygen mask, people ask your wife 
what you want as if you cannot speak. 
 
You sneeze while testing at your Clinical Ecologist's office and people 
say "write it down" rather than "God bless you". 
 
You would rather see a ten-year old movie on TV than a current one at the 
theater. 
 
You are the only one leaving the Thanksgiving table hungry. 
 
You become friends with your U.P.S man. 
 
You shop at garage sales rather than the mall. 
 
You call someone on the phone and can't remember why you called. 
 
You carry more things on an outing than your daughter-in-law takes for the 
twins. 
 
You have to write everything down to remember, but then cannot read your 
own handwriting. 
 
YOU KNOW LIVING WITH E.I. ISN'T SO BAD WHEN 
 
Your grandson takes a bite of your soy flour muffin and comes back for 
more. 
 
You have a ready-made excuse for not attending another stuffy retirement 
party. 
 
Your wife understands and doesn't wake you when you doze in church. 
 
Five food products are recalled and you don't worry since you have not 
eaten any of them in years. 
 
You are too sick to go to the office so you are home and see your grandson 
take his first steps. 
 
You find out who your real friends and family are. 
 
You get your waistline back without paying Weight Watchers a cent. 
 
You happily camp in your tent with no pressure to move up to a camper. 
 
You enter a room with your oxygen and most people put out their cigarettes 
without being asked. 
 
Your wife takes over the driving rather than be scared to death by yours. 
 
You develop new priorities as you learn what is important in your life. 
 
You are reacting and get angry and your wife understands and does not get 
angry back. 
 
You have to replace your clothes and remember the comfort of cotton. 
 
You discover the natural taste of food. 
 
Your EI friends ask "How are you" and really want to know. 
 
YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING BETTER WHEN 
 
You cease feeling sorry for yourself and are thankful you have EI rather 
than a terminal illness. 
 
Your wife doesn't have to repeat everything she says. 
 
You start reading again. 
 
Your wife's driving improves. 
 
You can feast on two-food meals. 

You start planning projects around the house and actually complete some of 
the easier ones. 
 
You start thinking creatively again. 
 
You start thinking about things other than your illness. 
 
You regain your sense of humor. 
 
The dog food in the TV commercials stops looking tasty. 
AUTHOR UNKNOWN

 

 

Yours for a mere £40, the great smell of nothing

FDA named "Fraud and Drug Administration" by consumer health advocacy group

 
 
 
 

 

 
 

Is her perfume "ANGEL"?  Which is made with pesticides ingredients!
 
 
 

Swampland'